Express Specials

Why English Is Funny

I was told English was funny
by my teachers in high school.
I was then stupid and dummy;
Maybe that’s why I’d oft drool.
Oh! Was I not quite uncool?

But when I think of the language,
I feel indeed it is fun;
For you do well in an orphanage,
see a well as well there; pun!
We should not the language shun.

You can sure have lunch before two
and have a chat the same time;
Of course, you can have some fun too
by making sure your words rhyme.
Wouldn’t that be a great pastime?

In the mornings you can wake up
in the wake of something strange.
Some might wake their now dead pup
and hope for a drastic change.
Only they might have no change!

And yes, you can hold great meetings,
holding your gel pen, you see.
Your ire hold, look not for meanings;
Hold your horses too, my plea.
You cannot see what I see.

A pen’s mightier than a sword,
not the pen where we spot pigs.
for that’s a different pen, my bard;
I pen down thoughts there on gigs.
Also I spot spotted figs.

ALSO READ | See That ‘C’?

I do know I’m not always right,
but my rights you cannot snatch.
For now, let us just get this right:
You’ll have to move right to catch,
Forget not we’re playing a match!

Don’t think of that match on Tinder
that ditched you right fore the date;
for there are better things to ponder:
things like the assignment date.
Do you apprehend, my mate?

I do not mean the ‘apprehend’
you come upon on crime mags.
This word means understand too, friend.
Not for you to laugh or gag.
The prize you’ve bagged is this bag.

Do you know had I had a dad
I’d have had a lot of fun?
But things turned pretty ugly, bad
after my pretty girl had run.
Father couldn’t bear angst of son.

So now I oft sit in the Sun
and bear the probs these bears give.
I oftentimes feel I am done,
but I beg myself to live.
But the girl I can’t forgive.

I so want to know from you though
about the classes you’ve left;
I saw you turning left to go
to a place your books you’d left.
Answer a few more questions left.

ALSO READ | Box That B!

Do you know what the word ‘mean’ means?
Oops! I sure am not being mean;
Also, I’m ware you’ve many means
to approach the college dean.
I’m happy you’re very mean!

Shall we talk about those books now,
those books you’d wanted to book?
I do get in the booking row
you’d realised you were to cook.
You cook for cooks who won’t cook!

If I were you, I should object
to placing this object here.
But I know you know to reject,
reject only that which you fear.
I hear you fear many deer, dear.

I’d want to know what you will do
with the will that is now yours?
Will you will to will the canoe
to Joe, who likes to lie on floors?
He seldom lies though, I’m sure.

By the way, the tie you’re sporting
is the tie that I did tie;
And I do not think I’m joking
when I say both teams may tie.
Oh! Can we play with a die?

I’ll now have to take your leave,
the rest we’ll discuss tomorrow;
I’m tired, need a rest, am on leave.
Some things from you I’ll borrow
and talk ’bout the swallows they swallow.

DO READ | The Happy Prince

2 replies »

  1. Though funnily enough, this is a nuanced piece, composed by an adept quill. Love the poetic fervour that flows through it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.