You once told me that you didn’t believe Rome burned in a day because great things never fell apart like that. So when you held my hand and promised to hold everything that comes with it―sunshine and storms― I believed in you. I let you in with all the trust I could ever give. You did not rush me with my walls and so I put them down. When you asked about my scars, I told you their stories without holding back the ugliest details, and you kissed them all to heal. For the first time, I felt infinite. It didn’t matter if I would forget writing sad proses, even if that’s what I’m good at.
It didn’t matter because you showed me love in its untainted form. I keep my most favorite moments of us in the most peaceful place in my chest, as far away from the bad things as possible, because finally I have something to hold on to. When you pointed a random cluster of stars in the sky and named them after me, when we laughed about my hands being too small to fit yours comfortably, the Saturday mornings we spent sleeping in, our museum dates, when you cooked breakfast for me for the first time and the omelet was too dry, and the random times we referenced lines from movies to fit a joke and then we would keep adding things to make it funnier until our stomachs ached. Oh, I have never desperately wanted to keep someone forever until you.
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Beneath the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen, you told me we were great, and I believed in you. I believed in you because my chance at peace was starting to look like a certainty. I believed in you because you said great things never fall apart. I believed in you until you taught me that there would always be a storm no matter how long the calm was. And when you left, there were only storms and storms and storms.
If Rome did not burn in a day, darling why did we?
PS: This piece was initially posted on autumnartemis.tumblr.com. It has been published here with the author’s permission.
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